Phantom of the Opera Brawl
by Satoshi1
Summary: The main characters of the play get to go head-to-head in a ring! ^-^ Made in my


This was made a long time ago, by me, when I was under the alias 'Leslie' on the internet. Please enjoy. ^_^  
  
Author's Note: Two weeks of school and I'm already going insane. ;p This fic will be proof of that. I found an old fic on BSSM villains and them all fighting to find who was the strongest ( Chibi-Usa won out of all the villains of BSSM, by the way ;B ), and decided to make a POTO one! The competitors will be likely, and.... unlikely. xD Enjoy and wallow in my insanity.  
  
P.S. - I own no one. Except Erik. MINE! -Clings to him- 3 ( Actually, I don't own him. Love to, but don't. If you sue me, you will lose more than gain. How? I don't know, you just will. )  
  
Satoshi: Welcome back, ladies, gentlemen, and the people who are hard to annoy! I hope you enjoyed my little BSSM fic of Villain Brawling. If not, you better get out before you end up the ring with me.   
  
Losers of the last fic: -Walk towards the doors, grumbling-  
  
Satoshi: NOT YOU! SIT!  
  
Losers: o.o;; -Sit obediently-  
  
Satoshi: Anyway... This time, instead of there being four people in the ring at once, we'll be having the traditional one-on-one. The most unlikely, and some rather likely, people will be fighting. First up, is... oh, how interesting..  
  
Random Fangirl: Of course it's interesting, it's YOU writing it.  
  
Satoshi: Thank you. ^_^  
  
Random Fangirl: Your welcome. Everyone knows insane people with no lives write the best stuff. ^^  
  
Satoshi: _.... -Looks to villains-  
  
Villains: -Toss the Fangirl out-  
  
Satoshi: Once again.. first up is Carlotta versus Christine.  
  
Audience: -Switch around according to their favorite... nobody is on the side of Christine, yet no one is on the side of Carlotta-  
  
Satoshi: o.o.... Well, I can understand this. Carlotta is an annoying pompous screech owl, and Christine was stupid, in general, what with picking Raoul over Erik and all... Um, anyway..  
  
Carlotta: -Walks awkwardly onto the ring- What is this.. thing?  
  
Satoshi: It's a torture device for weaklings, basically.  
  
Carlotta: ...  
  
Satoshi: Now.. where is Christine? Well, we can't have a fight without her... -Muffled sounds from under the desk in the Winner's/Satoshi's Announcements of Randomness Box- Hmm... wonder where she is.. 9_9 Oh well. -Whispers to random villain-  
  
Piangi: -Gets thrown into the ring... oh dear, I wonder if that elephant he sat on in the first act ever recovered?-  
  
*Flashback*  
  
Elephant: It was HORRIBLE, Doctor! Jenny Craig couldn't help that man. He broke my back, I couldn't redo the scene... the other elephants got to fill in! Oh, but wait, they broke their backs too...  
  
*Out of Flashback*  
  
Piangi: -Looks to Carlotta- I'm fighting her?  
  
Carlotta: I thought you were hung! -D*mn, d*mn, d*mn! Atleast I collected on the insurance...-  
  
Piangi: No, my dear, I live-ed! ( To realize how stupid he sounds, say live, then ed. Thus 'Live-ed' is born )  
  
All: Groan.  
  
Satoshi: Okay, may the fight begin. -Kicks something under her desk and the muffled sounds stop-   
  
Figure under Desk: -Is a tied up Christine, played by (insert name of whoever played the Christine you saw); gagged, yet trying to say 'Raoul!'-  
  
Carlotta: -Maybe if he dies... I get more money? She ran at a surprised Piangi, ready to smack him with her fan-  
  
Piangi: Carlotta! -He ran away from his angry girlfriend ( well, ex- girlfriend, unbeknownst to him ), screaming like a three-year-old- EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!  
  
Carlotta: -Cackling maniacally, waving her fan around, trying to smack Piangi-  
  
All: o.o -Watch, eating popcorn and sipping soda-  
  
Fan 1: Two on Piangi.  
  
Fan 2: Two dollars?  
  
Fan 1: No, two stretchers.  
  
Fan 2: Why two stretchers?  
  
Fan 1: You crazy? They're not fitting ALL of him on one. -Just then Piangi bounces out of the ring. Yes, bounces. He's too.. round to do anything else-  
  
Carlotta: -Cackle!-  
  
Piangi: -Lifted up on four stretchers-  
  
Fan 1: Lost the bet, oh well. Bet he'll go to Jenny Craig.  
  
Fan 2: Betcha he gains more than he loses.  
  
Satoshi: SHUT UP DOWN THERE! _ I'M SUPPOSED TO BE THE WITTY ONE!  
  
Fans: -Cower-  
  
Carlotta: -Makes her way to the Winner's Box, singing- I WOOOOON! I WOOO-  
  
Satoshi: -Slaps duct tape over Carlotta's mouth- FRIGGIN' SCREECH OWL! Okay, well... Did everyone like the first fight?  
  
Audience: -nod-  
  
Satoshi: Good. Now.. -Checks her list- Ah! Next up is Andre versus Firmin. Remember, Firmin was the greedy one, and Andre was the sweet yet dense one.  
  
Audience: -Move accordingly-  
  
Satoshi: Any word on Christine? No? Oh well... -Grin-  
  
Firmin & Andre: -Shoved into ring-  
  
Andre: I do say, Firmin, this is rude of our hostess...  
  
Firmin: Shut up, Andre.   
  
Andre: o.o;! But, Firmin...  
  
Firmin: Shut up! _ You're so annoying! Money is everything, and you were worried about the cast! -Tackles Andre and the two disappear in a cloud of dust.. ya know, the cheesy little cloud-of-whatever-while-fists-legs-and- screams-fill-the-air thing-  
  
Satoshi: Well... Firmin is rather stressed. o_o; Maybe we can give him some money for therapy, no?  
  
All: Yes. o_o  
  
Carlotta: -Trying to get the duct tape off her mouth; makes muffled screams- Hffup oyn bffft!  
  
Satoshi: -Holds up Punjab-  
  
Carlotta: ....  
  
Andre: OW! Firmin! -Goes flying out of the cheesy cloud and lands outside of the ring, tuxedo torn and tattered-  
  
Firmin: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! -Cackles as he rushes to the Winner's Box-  
  
Satoshi: Congratulations, you psycho. ^_^  
  
Psychiatrist: -Talks to Firmin while Satoshi takes over once again-  
  
Satoshi: Up next... the second biggest fight we're going to have on here... Erik, our dear, beloved Angel of Music, Mon Ange, will be fighting the evil, the wicked Son-of-Satan, or some kind of relation to the Devil... Raoul.  
  
Audience: HISS! BOO! HISS! -Everyone crowds to get onto the stands that are intended to be for Erik fans; one lone person sits on the Raoul stands, who is bound and gagged-  
  
Satoshi: My pity to the poor idiot in the stands for Satan's Son.   
  
-Ring is darkened, the only light source being six foot candelabra's fixed with candles, of course, which just so happen to smell like sugar cookies. Why? Because it's my fic ;B-  
  
Erik: -Appears in the ring, clad in his tuxedo, cloak, and mask-  
  
Several Fangirls: -Swoon- *-*  
  
Fanboys (Yes, they exist): Go Erik! Kick Raoul's---  
  
At this time, we must censor everything these Fanboys said in case some young people may be reading this. Until the story resumes appropriety, you may insert whatever you would like to tell Erik to kick on Raoul. :)  
  
Audience: -Several cheers-  
  
Erik: -Looks up at Satoshi in the Winner's Box- You said Christine would be here!  
  
Satoshi: Oh, she's here. ^_^ Don't worry, Erik.  
  
Carlotta: -Looks under the desk; muffled cackle-  
  
Raoul: -Tossed into the ring wearing rags and bawling like a child- MY PRETTY CLOTHES! MOMMY! -Sucks his thumb-  
  
Erik: o.o... -Chuckle-  
  
Raoul: -Sees Erik and screams like a girl- EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! MONSTER!  
  
Audience: GASP!  
  
Fangirl: YOU -Censorship people-!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Fangirl 2: KILL HIS SORRY -Censorship people-!!!!  
  
Audience: -Run up into the ring and start beating up Raoul-  
  
Raoul: -Lost among the crowd of Erik fans, Satoshi being the one hurting him the most xD- AAAAAAAAAAAH! MOMMY! THE GIRLS ARE BEATING ME UP AGAIN!  
  
Raoul's Mom: -Kicks Raoul- You wuss!  
  
Raoul: MOMMY?!  
  
Raoul's Dad: Wimp!  
  
Raoul: DADDY?! -Cry-  
  
Paramedics: -Toss Raoul onto a stretcher roughly, laughing as they carry him off-  
  
Erik: ... -Makes his way to the Winner's Box-  
  
Satoshi: *-* -Pushes Carlotta and Firmin away and presents a nice cushioned chair to Erik- 3  
  
Erik: ... -Sits-  
  
Satoshi: -Sigh- So.. Erik.. 3 Written any scores lately? 3  
  
Erik: ......  
  
Christine: -Tries screaming 'Raoul!' but is muffled.. mwuahahahaha...-  
  
Erik: ... -Looks under the desk- CHRISTINE! O.O  
  
Christine: -Blink-  
  
Erik: -Scoops Christine up and takes the gag off- Christine! 3 i.i  
  
Christine: Eh... hello Erik...  
  
Satoshi: Erik.. I believe the last fight is still to come... /... -Grabs Christine and drags her down to the ring-  
  
Christine: -Being the stupid fool she is, happy to get away from Erik-  
  
Audience: -Blinks- Who's fighting Christine?  
  
Satoshi: ME! O  
  
Audience: O.O  
  
Erik: No, Christine! ;-;  
  
Satoshi: The winner gets Erik! 3  
  
Fangirls: I'LL FIGHT!  
  
Satoshi: NO YOU WON'T! B  
  
Fangirls: -Cower-  
  
Satoshi: -Tosses Christine into the ring-  
  
Christine: You can have him.   
  
Satoshi: WHAT?! YOU'RE GIVING A MAN LIKE HIM UP WITHOUT A FIGHT?! GET HER!  
  
Fangirls: -Start to hogtie Christine-  
  
Erik: Stop! ;-; Christine....  
  
Satoshi: -Looks at Erik; bashes the fangirls- What are ya doin'?!  
  
Fangirls: But you said---  
  
Satoshi: SHUT UP! -Clings to Erik- 3 If Christine wants to be stupid and give him up, then I get him. 3  
  
Erik: ....... -Shrugs helplessly-  
  
Satoshi: Okay... this fic is over...  
  
Christine: -Goes off to find Raoul, being the idiot she is, leaving Erik with Satoshi-  
  
The End.  
  
Satoshi: Uh, hi, me again. Since my father thought I was being sexist ( what with one male winner ), he thought I should have let Raoul win. Well, since Erik and the Fangirls are obviously too tough for the wimp, I've decided to give him a break... with this final round. :)  
  
Raoul: -Tossed back into a ring, lined with safety cushions- o.o Wee!  
  
Satoshi: And I tried to find a partner that was the same IQ and skill level as Raoul...  
  
-In the opposite corner, a man places.... Tiki, the little music box monkey.-  
  
Raoul: ....He's staring at me....  
  
Tiki: -Claps the cymbals, playing the short tune from Masquerade-  
  
Raoul: -Approaches the music box... peers at the monkey, and gets his nose clamped between the cymbals repeatedly- OW! MY NOSE IS BROKEN! -Bawls like a child-  
  
Tiki: ...-Tune-  
  
Satoshi: Well.... can't say I didn't try. :).......... xD -Laughs as Raoul carried off, crying like a two-year-old- HAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Erik: ... -Can't help but do his cute, insane laugh-  
  
The End  
  
( Again ) 


End file.
